[NOTE: This is sort of a joke. Getting me a job is not a joke. And I will follow through on the prizes. Just don't sue me, please.]
OFFICIAL CONTEST RULES FOR #GetLoomerAJob
September 7, 2011
No purchase necessary
Void where prohibited.
1. ELIGIBILITY. This Contest (#GetLoomerAJob) brought to you by Jon Loomer (the “Jobless Dude” or “Dude” or “Guy”), is governed by these rules (the “Official Rules”), though we aren’t all that worried about details. The Contest is open to U.S. residents aged 18 or older at the time of entry (the “Entrant”). If you live somewhere else or are younger, screw it. We won’t be picky if you get the guy a job. No purchase is necessary, unless you want to donate him money. He has bills to pay. All Entrants must have a… yeah, we’re supposed to list something here. But all you need is to get the guy a job. Employees, directors, officers and principals of the Sponsor, including its licensees, advertising and promotion agencies, subsidiaries, affiliates, contractors, agents and members of their immediate families or households are not eligible to participate (in other words, Jobless Dude and his family. He has no employees because, well, he has no job). Upon entering this Contest, Entrants agree to waive any rights their state of residence may provide in regard to contests. This Contest is void where prohibited by law. So take that.
2. HOW TO ENTER. To enter this awesome Contest, an Entrant must do some pretty basic stuff prior to the end of the Promotion Period (as defined below).
- Get Jobless Dude a job (to be eligible for the grand prize)
- Use the #GetLoomerAJob hashtag on Twitter (one point each time)
- Share a link from JonLoomer.com on Facebook, use words “Get this guy a job!” and use @Jon Loomer (if you’re his friend). Make sure you share it publicly. (one point each time)
- Share a link from JonLoomer.com on Google+, use words “Get this guy a job!” and use +Jon Loomer. Make sure you share it publicly. (one point each time)
- Get Jobless Dude an interview. The interview must actually take place and cannot be fictional. (10 points each time)
Following the successful submission of your entry, the Sponsor could send a confirmation e-mail within 24 hours to the e-mail address provided by you upon registration confirming your participation in the Contest and indicating approval of your submission. But he won’t. Because there’s no reason for you to provide your email address and this Jobless Guy doesn’t want to infringe on your…
In other words, chill. Don’t worry about it. Just get this Dude a job.
4. CONDITIONS OF ENTRY. By submitting an entry or accepting a prize, Entrants represent and warrant that all entries submitted by the Entrant are the original creation of the Entrant, have not been copied in whole or in part from any other work, do not violate or infringe any copyright, trademark or other proprietary right of any third party, and are the sole and exclusive property of the Entrant. If you read and understand that run-on sentence, you are eligible. Entrants assume all risk of lost, late, misdirected, incomplete or illegible submissions.
All entries submitted become the sole property of the Sponsor and will not be acknowledged or returned. Yeah, because we’re jerks. By submitting an entry, Entrants grant Sponsor and its affiliates and agents (his wife and kids) permission to use entries for any purpose and in any media whatsoever, without further compensation to Entrants. I have no idea how that would be, but it could be awesome. And you should be aware. Any person featured in any entries submitted (or parent or legal guardian, if person is a minor) must have provided his or her consent to Entrant for the submission of his or her image in this Contest. Or not. By entering this Contest, Entrant represents that such consent has been received. Failure to obtain such consent will deem the entry ineligible for participation in the Contest. Entrants agree to indemnity and hold harmless Sponsor and its affiliates and agents for any action brought by a person whose consent was not obtained by the Entrant. In the event of a dispute about entries submitted by multiple individuals (it’s gonna happen!), the entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the Entrant who first submitted the entry using the Site’s time keeping system.
Entries generated by a script, macro or other automated means will be considered awesome.
Entries must not be unlawful, libelous, slanderous, defamatory, invasive or deemed harmful, vulgar, obscene, derogatory, pornographic, abusive, harassing, threatening, hateful, objectionable with respect to race, religion, creed, national origin or gender, or otherwise unfit for publication in the sole opinion of the Sponsor. I have no idea how it may be the case, but in the event it is… Don’t do that.
5. PROMOTION PERIOD. The Contest starts on or around 12:15 pm MT on September 7 and ends whenever someone gets this dude a job (the “Promotion Period“). All entries must be received no later than bed time. There is no limit to the number of entries that may be submitted by each Entrant. If you want to get Jobless Dude multiple jobs, we encourage it. Entries submitted or attempted to be submitted outside of the Promotion Period will be considered if they are for awesome jobs not previously submitted.
6. SELECTION OF WINNERS. The selection of winners will be conducted by a panel of judges consisting of Jobless Dude, his wife and three kids. The entries will be judged to the extent to which they meet the theme of the Contest (“Mo’ Money!”). Entries will be judged on relevance of awesomeness (25%), coolness (25%) and salary (50%) (the “Selection Criteria”), but all that really matters is whether or not you get him a job. In the event of a tie, it would mean multiple people got Jobless Dude jobs, and that would be fantastic. In that case, you’re welcome to split the cool prizes. The decision of the judges will be final and binding. The selection of winners will take place on some day after Jobless Dude gets paid by his new employer. Winners will be notified by e-mail or telephone or fax or page or Facebook or Twitter by some day in the future. Upon notifying the winner of his or her prize, the winner will be the happiest person on the planet. They will shake and weep and tell all of their friends. Once they regroup, winner must respond with details of how they want their cool prize fulfilled no later than the day they’re contacted. Because we’re like that. Failing to provide the preferred information – whatever that is –, or if the Prize is returned as unclaimed or undeliverable (pshh), the prize shall be considered forfeited. In the event of such a forfeiture, Sponsor shall select another winner based on the Selection Criteria and/or dispose of the prize in any way it deems fit. Or give it to his kids.
7. PRIZES AND ODDS OF WINNING:
Actual retail value may vary, especially if we don’t add it up with a calculator. Odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. In all likelihood, it’s somewhere around one and a zillion. Prizes are limited to one (1) prize per winner. Though, if you get Jobless Dude two jobs, he may just look past this legal stuff. The Prize cannot be assigned, transferred, redeemed for cash or substituted except by the Sponsor, who may, at its sole discretion, substitute the Prize with one of comparable value if the advertised Prize is or becomes unavailable for any reason. Maybe a 1987 Topps Glenn Braggs.
8. GENERAL CONDITIONS. This Contest shall be construed and evaluated according to the law of Colorado (though, we’d appreciate it if they ignore it), without regard to the principles of conflicts of law and submission of an entry constitutes acceptance of such laws. All federal, state and local laws and regulations apply – sorta. This Contest is void where prohibited by law. If it is prohibited by law and you get Jobless Dude a job, let’s talk privately about how we can get around this (“silly law thing”). Entrants agree to be bound by these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor are final and binding in all respects. Boo-yah.
All taxes, fees, and surcharges on prizes are the sole responsibility of the prize winners. By participating and accepting a prize, so long as there is no legal prohibition, winner agrees to the use of his/her name for advertising or publicity purposes and to the use of statements made by or attributed to him/her relating to Sponsor or this promotion, and releases any and all rights to said use without further compensation. You’ll be famous. But broke.
Grand Prize Package (get me a job):
- $50 donation to your charity of choice
- A day donated to you or company/charity of your choice on a project fitting Jobless Dude’s skills
- A month as Jobless Dude’s best friend. As his best friend, he will send you a weekly annoying email and you two will have an uncomfortable cup of coffee over Skype.
First Prize Package (most points):
- A blog entry written on JonLoomer.com by Jobless Dude covering a technology subject of your choice
- Two weeks of being Jobless Dude’s second best friend. As his second best friend, he will call you once a week to talk about how awesome the Brewers are. Because as his friend, you must like the Brewers.
9. RELEASE OF LIABILITY. All Entrants release Sponsor, its subsidiaries, affiliates, officers, directors, agents, employees and all others associated with the development and execution of Sponsor and the Contest from any and all liability with respect to or in any way arising from this Contest and/or acceptance or use of the prizes, including liability for personal injury, death, damages, or loss. That stuff would suck.
The Sponsor is not responsible for entries that are corrupted or otherwise not received correctly or for any problems or technical malfunction of any telephone network or lines, computer on-line systems, servers or providers, computer equipment, software, failure of e-mail, or on account of technical problems or traffic congestion on the Internet or at any Web site or combination thereof, including injury or damage to participants or to any other person’s computer related to or resulting from participating or downloading materials in the Contest. In other words, know how to use a computer, Grandpa. The Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any incorrect or inaccurate information, whether caused by Site users or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Contest or by any technical or human error which may occur in the processing of submissions in the Contest, blah, blah, blah. The Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to, or alteration of, entries, including lost, late or misdirected entries. The Sponsor is not responsible for cheating or fraud by any Entrant, though he thinks it a valiant effort. Any activities intended to disrupt or interfere with the proper play of the Contest, or defraud the Sponsor in any way may be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law – once he gets a job and hires a cheap attorney. Entrants engaging in any of the foregoing activities will be disqualified and any prizes won will be forfeited. The world will cry for you.
If, for any reason, the Contest is not capable of proceeding as planned, including without limitation infection by computer virus, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention, fraud, technical failures, Jobless Dude never gets a job, or any other causes beyond the control of the Sponsor which corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity or proper conduct of this Contest, the Sponsor reserves the right at its sole discretion to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Contest. BOOM.
10. WINNERS LIST. To receive a list of winners’ names and city or town of residence, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope by the time of your death to:
1 Claus Circle
You may also visit the Site before Jobless Dude gets a job. No guarantees on what you’ll see there, but go ahead and visit it. Sponsor assumes no responsibility for lost, late, illegible, incomplete or postage due mail. Mail is dumb.
11. CONTEST SPONSOR. The Contest is sponsored by:
Any questions regarding this Contest should be directed to Jon at jonloomer [at] gmail [dot] com.